help and encouragement for parents in three flavors

Parent coaching, classes, and workshops


 “As a single parent the hands-on parenting skills and techniques made a dramatic difference in my family.”

“I found all the information and suggestions he provided very grounded and relevant.  They were immediately helpful to my needs and those of my children.”

“He presented his material with an ease and humor which set the tone for the entire workshop. . . Something I would recommend for all parents to attend.”

More Testimonials:


Loving AND effective parenting in three steps

Step one: knowledge.  We need to find out what we need to know.  For example: children need to be loved.  Children need boundaries.

Step two: understanding.  Knowing is not enough.  We must also understand.  Knowing children need love and boundaries will not help us if we do not understand what those two realities actually mean.  

Step three: effective action.  Knowing and understanding is not enough.  We must also be able to act effectively.  Understanding our child's love and relationship needs must become words and actions that actually meet those needs.  Understanding the need for boundaries must become words and actions that successfully set and maintain those boundaries.  

Without effective action, our parenting will never be complete.  More . . . 

My job as a teacher and coach is to help you get through all three steps.

classes and workshops

Parenting classes are a fun and cost effective way to increase our knowledge and understanding.  Workshops go a step further by sharpening and strengthening our effective action skills.
Early signup discounts available!    

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 Parent coaching   

Parenting help does not get any more effective and efficient than this. In-person, one-on-one or small group sessions in greater Portland, Maine.  Phone sessions from anywhere.
First session is half-price!


improving our parenting is always possible and always WORTH IT

Even little improvements can make a huge difference for us, our children, and our families.

My book, The Loving AND Effective Parent, will be available in 2019.  

As with my teaching, the approach of this book is to establish the fundamentals first and then lay out tangible ways to achieve them.  The book covers the material outlined in the next section: "Our Three-legged Stool."  

"Our three-legged stool" is my attempt to create a simple and effective way to talk about parenting and get organized.
It's not perfect, but it has been amazingly effective.    


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Building our three-legged stool.

Relationship is the first "leg." 

Family Structure and Culture is the second "leg." 

Development & Discipline is the third "leg."  

Each "leg" has its own purpose.  Each "leg" has its own job to do.  BUT, no "leg" can do its job without the support of the other two.  If a "leg" is too weak, the stool will break or fall over.  When our relationships, family structure and culture, and development & discipline reinforce and support each other, everything becomes so much easier and so much more enjoyable.

 

Relationship "Loving our children"

The Heart Connection: Our children need to know they are loved.

Building Identity: Our children need to know who they are.

Relationship always comes first.  It is the foundation and heartbeat of our families. Healthy heart, healthy family.  It begins with unconditional love and genuine connections.  Everybody wants to belong to a group that loves them, protects them, and encourages them.  Our families should be the best answer for that.  More . . .

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Family Structure and Culture "Creating our Family's world"

Roles and Responsibilities: Who does what?

Goals: What are we trying to accomplish with our children?

Family Meetings and Family Rules: How will we live together?

Family Identity: Who are we as a family?

Many times our success or failure as parents happens right here, and we don't even know it.  I understand if that sounds crazy to you.  Almost everybody I have ever worked with wants to blow right by this stuff and work on relationship or discipline issues instead. I used to honor those requests until experience taught me better.  More . . .

 
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Time out / Recovery time

Development & Discipline "Moving our children forward"

Principles: Eight foundational concepts                                                        

Methods and Techniques: Mastering the parenting tools we need                          

Direct, face-to-face challenges: Holding our ground and more

Disciplining our children will be significantly more difficult than it needs to be if our children are not experiencing our love and our family structure is not providing the guidance it should.  Our discipline simply builds on what has come before.  Another way to make things harder: trying to "make" our children behave.  That is not our job.  That is our children's job.    More . . .

 
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putting it all together 

Relationship: Do our children feel loved?  Are they experiencing our love?  Are our parent/child relationships helping or undermining our parenting efforts?

Family structure and culture: Has our family structure established understanding, and hopefully agreement, on all the important issues as well as any new issues?  

Development & Discipline: Is our child outmaneuvering us?  Are we in control of our own behavior?  Do we know which methods and techniques to use and when?  Do we have enough mastery of those techniques to be loving AND effective?  More . . .