Until the Covid-19 pandemic changed things dramatically, The Loving And Effective Parent was offering parenting classes and in-person parent coaching sessions in Connecticut and Maine. I have closed down both offices permanently. I have moved to Raleigh, NC to be near my children and grandchildren.

My Story / Background

My name is James Shaver, and I have been working with parents and families since 2012.

When people ask me why I do what I do, I don’t know where to begin. I know I love it. Helping and encouraging. Making a difference. Sharing the deep satisfaction and joy of parents as they overcome one challenge after another. It’s a perfect fit for me.

Made a decision

In 2011 I decided to actually do something about my passion and concern for families and my desire to make a difference. I have always been fascinated by how profoundly parenting affects our lives, our families, and our communities. Every little improvement in our parenting can make a huge difference. And those changes last lifetimes. I decided, one way or another, I was going to help parents.

A year of research

That year, I read over 50 parenting books and countless articles. I skipped over all the latest trends and fads, magical shortcuts, wishful thinking, and political or social agendas. Instead, I focused on the essentials. On how all the pieces fit together. On what actually works in real life. Raising four unique children of my own gave me a clue and a good start, but the learning never ends.

Tried it out

I started parent coaching friends and acquaintances for free in my spare time. I needed practice with real parents and real children. I needed to find out if I was any good at this. The feedback was overwhelmingly positive.

Writing a book

Parents kept asking for written versions of my material. I worked closely with four separate groups of parents to see if my writing was good enough. They were very encouraging and surprisingly honest. All four members of one group challenged me, “If you can get your whole book to be that kind of useful, we won’t put it on the shelf next to all our other parenting books. We will actually use it.” I accepted that challenge right then and there. I am still typing away.

Present situation

I have relocated to Raleigh, NC to be near three of my four children and their children.  Definitely enjoying being a grandfather.

Now that the pandemic is over, I am accepting in-person parent coaching sessions in the Raleigh area as well as continuing the over-the-phone sessions from all over the country.

I am starting a parenting YouTube channel. Don’t really know how to do that yet, but I am excited about sharing content that has been helpful to my clients.

Future plans

• Get back to writing my parenting book, The Loving And Effective Parent, after taking over a year off to assist my elderly father. Hopefully, the book will be available in 2024.

• Video all my best parenting materials and put them together into a comprehensive and well-structured package that will be available to everyone online. If all goes well, these videos will include multiple versions of typical parenting scenarios to use as teaching tools. Sometimes, being able to see what we are talking about is really helpful. Hopefully, this video package will be released in 2024.

*I graduated from the University of Northern Colorado Summa Cum Laude with a BA in English with psychology and writing minors. (I was only one psychology course short of a double major in English and Psychology.) I have also taken six relevant graduate level courses.