My Story
Until the Covid-19 pandemic changed things dramatically, The Loving And Effective Parent was offering parenting classes and in-person parent coaching sessions in New York, Connecticut, and Maine. In 2021, I moved to Raleigh, NC to be near my children and grandchildren.
My Story / Background
My name is James Shaver, and I have been working with parents and families since 2012.
When people ask me why I do what I do, I don’t know where to begin. I know I love it. Helping and encouraging. Making a difference. Sharing the deep satisfaction and joy of parents as they overcome one challenge after another. It’s a perfect fit for me.
Made a decision
In 2011 I decided to actually do something about my passion and concern for families and my desire to make a difference. I have always been fascinated by how profoundly parenting affects our lives, our families, and our communities. Every little improvement in our parenting can make a huge difference. And those changes last lifetimes. I decided, one way or another, I was going to help parents.
A year of research
That year, I read over 50 parenting books and countless articles. I skipped over all the latest trends and fads, magical shortcuts, wishful thinking, and political or social agendas. Instead, I focused on the essentials. On how all the pieces fit together. On what actually works in real life. Raising four unique children of my own gave me a clue and a good start, but the learning never ends.
Tried it out
I started parent coaching friends and acquaintances for free in my spare time. I needed practice with real parents and real children. I needed to find out if I was any good at this. The feedback was overwhelmingly positive.
I also started teaching parenting classes and an all-day workshop as opportunities opened up. Once again, the feedback was overwhelmingly positive. In one all-day workshop, the thirty-four parents refused to take the two morning breaks. We worked straight through til lunch.
Lives were profoundly changed for the better, and I was completely hooked.
Writing a book
Parents kept asking for written versions of my material. I worked closely with four separate groups of parents to see if my writing was good enough. They were very encouraging and surprisingly honest. All four members of one group challenged me, “If you can get your whole book to be that kind of useful, we won’t put it on the shelf next to all our other parenting books. We will actually use it.” I accepted that challenge right then and there. I am still typing away.
Present situation
I live in Raleigh, NC to be near three of my four children and their children. Definitely enjoying being a grandfather.
I am parent coaching by phone, video call, and in-person in the greater Raleigh area. My most distant call came from Melbourne, Australia.
Starting in early January 2027, I will be teaching a parenting class in Raleigh right near the Cary town line. That class will be offered every month.
*I graduated from the University of Northern Colorado Summa Cum Laude with a BA in English with psychology and writing minors. (I was only one psychology course short of a double major in English and Psychology.) I have also taken six relevant graduate level courses.