DEVELOPMENT & DISCIPLINE "MOVING OUR CHILDREN FORWARD"
Principles: Eight foundational concepts
Methods and Techniques: Mastering the parenting tools we need
Direct, face-to-face challenges: Holding our ground and more
Disciplining our children will be significantly more difficult than it needs to be if our children are not experiencing our love and our family structure is not providing the guidance it should. Our discipline simply builds on what has come before. Another way to make things harder: trying to "make" our children behave. That is not our job. That is our children's job.
Our ultimate goal here is to help our children develop good and kind hearts, strong and dependable character, and effective life skills.
Helping does not mean forcing. Trying to force these attributes on our children from the outside leads to unnecessary damage and results that won't last. These attributes need to develop internally, and that is work our children have to do. We cannot do it for them. We can actually hinder and delay that internal work by trying to "make" our children behave.
That is why "making" our children behave is not our job. It is their job. They are responsible for managing their own behavior, attitudes, and choices.
Our job is to make sure our children actually do their job! We do our job by developing & disciplining our children in such a way they have to figure it out, they have to take responsibility for themselves, and they have to direct their own behavior. We provide all the guidance, encouragement, motivation, and accountability they need to do that. We calmly and firmly keep the responsibility where it belongs.
Discipline that is both loving AND effective actually reduces the stress and strain on the relationship for both the child and the parent. How great is that?
*Development & discipline are very much like two sides of the same coin. We should think of them together as a single unit with two distinct parts. Each one makes its own unique contribution as they support, overlap, and reinforce each other. That is why I join them with the "&" symbol.
Development - training, teaching, and mentoring our children.
Discipline - holding our children accountable for their behavior, attitudes, and choices.