A little help at the right time can make all the difference.
Parenting in today’s world is not easy. I have been helping parents overcome parenting challenges since 2012. My approach to working with parents is pretty simple: Where are you now? Where would you like to be? What is the best way to get you there?
The goal: to give you the understanding, the skills, and the confidence you need to be a loving and effective parent.
We know we have it right when raising our children is profoundly satisfying even on the really hard days. And the really good days are a thrilling adventure sprinkled with moments of pure joy.
Parent Coaching
Help and encouragement are only a
phone or video call away!
Parent coaching is all about you! What are your hopes and desires? What are your challenges and frustrations? What do you want to change? Parent coaching is one of the best ways to make sure those changes actually happen. All it takes is a few clicks and a little typing to self-schedule a coaching session - friendly help that makes a difference!
I am often surprised by how little it takes to make significant progress. But, to keep things honest, sometimes things are not so easy. Sometimes, it takes real effort to change old habits or ways of thinking. Sometimes, the children have no intention of making it easy. That’s OK. We just work a little harder - the greater the effort, the greater the reward!
(In-person coaching available in the greater Raleigh, NC area)
“I really can’t thank you enough for your help in getting us to a better place. Meeting one on one with you was so helpful. Our family is back on track and things are going great!”
Parenting Classes
***All parenting classes have been put on hold until my YouTube channel is up and running.***
A fun and effective way to learn and develop new skills.
Parenting classes in the greater Raleigh, NC area.
These classes are a safe place to learn and practice loving and effective strategies and techniques. We go back and forth between the underlying concepts and practical exercises. We work our way through all three steps needed for successful parenting:
Knowledge - what should I be doing in this situation?
Understanding - why should I be doing it? What am I trying to accomplish?
Effective action - do I have the confidence and skills needed to follow through and make it happen? (Pretty easy to crash and burn on this one.)
“I found Mr. Shaver’s parenting workshop to be so insightful and encouraging. . . . He presented his material with an ease and humor which set the tone for the entire workshop. . . Something I would recommend for all parents to attend”
The Loving And Effective Parent Resources
The Loving And Effective Parent YouTube Channel
My new YouTube channel will be up and running by April 2024.
The material for the videos will come mostly from my experience coaching parents. The goal is to give you the understanding, the skills, and the confidence you need to parent lovingly and effectively.
The videos will be long and very practical. Each video will focus on a specific parenting challenge - the first part will cover the relevant concepts and strategies. The second part will get into detailed step-by-step techniques.
Early drafts from my upcoming book
Introduction
That's not our job!
Why Loving AND Effective?
Consequences versus Punishment
"Parental Poisons"
Three Simple Steps
My parenting book, The Loving And Effective Parent
is scheduled to be published in 2024
The Loving And Effective Three-legged Stool
Building our three-legged stool
Relationship is the first "leg."
Family Structure and Culture is the second "leg."
Development & Discipline is the third "leg."
Each "leg" has its own purpose. Each "leg" has its own job to do. BUT, no "leg" can do its job without the support of the other two. If a "leg" is too weak, the stool will break or fall over.
RELATIONSHIP "LOVING OUR CHILDREN"
The Heart Connection: Our children need to know they are loved and valued.
Building Identity: Our children need to know who they are.
Relationship always comes first. It is the foundation and heartbeat of our families. Healthy heart, healthy family. Read more . . .
FAMILY STRUCTURE AND CULTURE "CREATING OUR FAMILY'S WORLD"
Family Identity: Who are we as a family?
Goals: What are we trying to accomplish?
Roles and Responsibilities: Who does what?
Family Meetings and Family Rules: How will we live together?
Many times our success or failure as parents happens right here and we don’t even know it. Read more . . .
DEVELOPMENT & DISCIPLINE "MOVING OUR CHILDREN FORWARD"
Principles: Six foundational concepts
Methods and Techniques: mastering the parenting tools we need
Direct, face-to-face challenges: Holding our ground and more
Disciplining our children will be significantly more difficult than it needs to be if our children are not experiencing our love and our family structure is not providing the guidance it should. Read more . . .
Putting It All Together
Relationship: Do our children feel loved and valued? Are our parent/child relationships helping or undermining our parenting efforts?
Family structure and culture: Has our family structure established understanding, and hopefully agreement, on all the important issues?
Development & Discipline: Is our child outmaneuvering us? Are we in control of our own behavior? Read more . . .